Who Am I?

There is a struggle in every man's heart, a search for himself. This is the most difficult phase of growing up. It is not easy to be so conscious of oneself as to devote much time wanting to know oneself even though it is the best gift we can ever give to ourselves and the very beginning of living right.

Maturity comes when you are able to identify with your individuality, accept and assert yourself with your strengths and weaknesses. Knowing that you have found yourself is the most important instrument you need to conquer the world. It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks of you but what you think of yourself is most important. The reason why we often miss the best part of ourselves is because we don't reflect as much as we should on and about our lives, past, present and we don't set standards for our future. There is a stage we come to in life when we begin to question ourselves about our deepest values and the things that keep us in the midst of others. Oftentimes we jump to certain conclusions when judging ourselves and deciding who we think we are and who we have come to be. You see I once read that the best way to know a man is to watch what he laughs and weeps at. This was said to be the greatest measure of a man's value.

Forming your identity is not easy but it has to be sought after because discovering your identity makes it easier to identify your gifts and put it all together to fulfill your destiny. Many times people mix things up; they get caught up between their potentials and their conflicting self. The only way to get ahead is to first find yourself and discover your deepest values, passions and the things that delight you to be able to bring your gift into operation. Because your values, which is what you delight in, directs you to discover more of your potentials and to harness them. All you need is a desire from inside; there is no need for anyone's approval but your own cry to be yourself.

Knowing yourself means, this is me and I accept it that way, this is what I believe in and can't do otherwise. You don't compromise when you know your deeper yes, because you know that your deeper yes means that if I do otherwise it is going to affect my whole being. This doesn't mean you are going to be too rigid a person but to some extent it gives you a great idea of when to be flexible and when not to be. Sometime ago I could identify with my values but was yet in conflict with acting them out especially when I had to say no to something my deeper being rejected. This was because I was afraid of making people feel bad and unaccepted but as I grew older it became obvious to me that I am the architect of my fortune or misfortune, and that the earlier I learnt to say yes the closer I would be to coming to terms with myself and my uniqueness.

The beautiful thing about it all is that you attract what you are. The moment you can get in touch with yourself it is easier to get in touch with someone else especially when your saying yes to so many things are similar. This is when you can identify your soul mate of life, that is your friends with whom you can build the foundation of life together and this doesn't necessarily mean you and these people agree on everything in life. It only means that you have nearly the same values, which might not be a hundred percent but reasonable enough to keep you together. You see most of us have friends we think are difficult to be with or friends that don't mind having the same clothes and hair cut we have because we are still struggling with who we are and who our friends think we should be.

The sooner you set your own standards for yourself the better or else people will set standards for you. The problem with most of us is that we feel we need everyone else's approval to do the things we value the most, and that is where we miss it. There is no problem in listening to other people's opinions but when it involves you, your own opinion matters the most, which must be based on who you have found out God wants you to be.

It's interesting when you dare to be different. Live your life and people will begin to question why you are you. It is such a life we live that you are the one that matters the most as to what opinion the man in you should be. Take delight in being yourself, you do not need any mask to be loved.

Another problem with virtually everyone of us is conformity and the fear of what people will say if you choose to live your life the way you want to. There is nothing wrong with that fear, but there is something wrong in not being fulfilled and happy especially when you are doing what your inner being is saying yes to. Our predicament is not in our fear of discovering ourselves but the fear of what to do with what we discover.

No one can live your life for you. If you are fortunate enough you may meet people that will help reveal your strength and help you deal with your weaknesses but these people are very few. You may come in contact with people who don't care what happens to you and wouldn't mind enslaving you, judging you and condemning you. Why allow yourself such a life, why not go through a self search and give yourself a lot of value so that no one can treat you anyhow but give you your due honour and respect?

The more your life reveals your dream, the more your face reveals your light. It is having enough worth that little things get to be little.

For How Long Will Africa Be Cursed With It's Leaders?

I was recently going through the findings of a research carried out on Africa by a foreign-based research firm and there was one statistic that really struck me deeply. Can you believe that the average African live under just 'a dollar' per day?

Now, can you fault anyone for labelling our beloved continent 'the poorest in the world'? But where have we gone wrong? Who is to blame? Is it those at the helm of affairs or the masses? All these questions hang loosely in the air begging for answers but with no one ready to provide them. We (the masses) - with the exception of our leaders who perhaps have been blinded by the pursuit of personal gains or 'National Cake' as they like to call it - seems to know where the problems lie but what can we do?

What can you do, when all around you there is a feeling of uncertainty? What can you do when the children that are supposed to be the future leaders are brought up to the knowledge that the only way to get to the top is to cut corners? What can you do when you are going to bed at night with not the slightest insight as to what tomorrow have in store for you? When your vote that is supposed to be your power during election or S-election, if you please, is nothing more than another futile effort. The system, yes the SYSTEM will always win.

Before their S-election, so many laudable plans (vision 2020, 7-point agenda etc) had been bandied around the media - owned or financed by big political moguls who in-turn influenced their writings and as such the joy of journalism is lost and it's etiquettes trampled upon - but the moment they assume office the reverse is the case. Take the political instability in my 'dear' Nigeria as a case-study, where a nation is run like a family business. The 'Giant of Africa' has suddenly grown so big that she developed bow legs, or how else can you describe a nation of over 140 million people having no president for over two months (during the Yar'Adua administration).

But what do we really feel towards our leaders? Is it hatred or jealousy? I believe it is the latter, for who can see the lure of long shiny cars or houses built with so much efficacy and grandeur to make the jaws of onlookers drop and say that he truly detest them deep down? Certainly, not anyone I know. It is not hatred because those are the things we ourselves have always longed for. But if a leader is not able to meet the demands of his followers, why can't he just do the most honorable thing, RESIGN? I guess that is not part of the agenda. For how long will Africa continue to be cursed with it's Leaders?

Despite all of these uncertainties, Africans are widely regarded as the most religious people in the world be it Christianity, Islam or Traditional worshippers. The most famous word in our dictionary is HOPE, or what else can we do other than to pray and hope that someday somehow we will reach the height of our potentials. If living is cruel then death is not so kind. Nobody wants to die but we all wanna go to heaven, and so, we manage to live through the rot and hope for a better tomorrow.

Happy Eid 'El Fitri to all our Muslim folks, especially to my Mum, my lovely siblings and Sanusi Kafayat, I love you all. May Almighty Allah guide and protect you all.

You Are Better Than That

Let me tell you something you already know.

The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It is a very mean and nasty place and it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it, or why do you think the phrase: 'Survival Of The Fittest' was coined?

People will kick you from behind till you are down and still ask you 'WHY?'
You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life.
But it ain't how hard you hit, it's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward; how much of it you can take and still stand strong with BELIEF. That's how winning is done.

Even when life throws unexpected happenings at you, see it as a phase that will soon phase out and move on. Life is what it is, life. Imagine knowing what will happen to you tomorrow, the joy of living would have been taking away.

Be strong and stand tall. When the going gets tough, the tough gets going and stay tough.

Now, if you know what you're worth, then go out and get it. But you've got to be willing to take the hit and not pointing accusing fingers saying you ain't where you are because of him, or her, or anybody. Cowards do that and that ain't you.

YOU ARE BETTER THAN THAT!

NB: This is dedicated to someone special, you know who you are. Everything's gonna be alright.